The counselor at my old job used to tell me I had "pixie dust". Students that other teachers had issues with, I seemed to make a connection with and they were able to find security or success (sometimes both) in my classroom. One thing I learned was that students weren't always looking to pass English. Sometimes they just wanted a classroom to feel safe in, and to be respected. One student once told me "You are the only teacher that likes me, can I hang out in here this hour?" No student should ever feel like every other teacher dislikes them. Sometimes as educators we just have to respect that student goals might be different than the ones we have for them. This is a message I am able to spread through consulting and coaching. Hattie research even shows that teacher estimates of achievement indicates student success. We have to believe in all kids regardless of our personal bias.
As an English teacher many times students would write things that were a hidden message. The social worker and I became fast friends, as I would take students and their writing to her out of concern for their well being. Some students would blatantly write about suicide and describe it. Others would write about depression or abuse. One year a fellow teacher came to me with writing from a former student of mine. He was concerned about the undertones of abuse in her writing. The student had started to miss school more frequently and was senior. My husband and I checked up on the student to find she was living with a sibling and lacked transportation to get to school. She was on our route to school, so we began to pick her up on our way each day. As educators we can get wrapped up in student's lives and families, and as students wrote their deepest emotions onto paper for me, I often found myself close to their families helping them work through difficult times.
After eleven years in the classroom, I taught on, as students died in car accidents not once, but twice. I attended both their funerals and cried for my loss and for their families and friends still in my classes. I taught on, as one student endured a football head injury that changed his life forever. Attending fundraisers and supporting his friends and teammates still in my classes. I prayed as another student suffered injuries from a motorcycle accident that he miraculously recovered from. As he struggled to recover, I taught on, following his progress and praying for him and his family. I recently saw a mug shot on the news of a young man being charged with murder. He was a former student of mine. I am quite optimistic with education. I feel like education can open doors and save most people from their situations. As I taught on, my concern for these students began to take over my ability to focus my energy on those students in my classroom seats.
My passion for education did not wane. I had to find a new direction to power the passion forward. Teachers are adults that have their own support systems. By working with one teacher, I can touch hundreds of students.I get to see the change in education across a building, sometimes across a district. I am still able to influence learning, but also protect my passion and my energy in a way that honors my personal well being.
As educators, we must know that it is okay to put ourselves first. To think of what boundaries we can set to protect our energy output. The students that were successes and the students that had trauma all wrote their stories upon my heart and made me a better person and a better teacher. I now can share their stories with others and help them to set the boundaries that might have kept me in the classroom a little longer.